PART I: The Situation.
Boys and girls, pimps and hos, gather ’round the fan for a sec. It’s time for a little come-to-Jesus on the subject of date-trolling your friendly neighborhood Craigslist. Because it ain’t pretty, folks. You have stumbled, bumbled, and fumbled your way through ill-conceived form letters, capped-up hissy fits, demands of blowjobs and roses, and every spam-artist from NOLA to Nigeria.
This is what Craigslist is here for. Easily attained, NSA sex; used furniture; the occasional zombie sighting; and ultimately a refuge for the nerdy, BBW-sturdy, and sex-over-30 crowds. You prayed, you wept, you toiled and sweat, you wished upon a star domain and woke up to your wildest dreams. You are why Jesus turned a stack of moldy old Robert Heinlein novels into the internet.
So let us set things right. Let us lay down a few ground rules. A gauntlet, if you will, of style and sense. MORE>>
May 8th, 2008 Posted by The Snarling Misanthrope | Form (Letters) Over Function, Getting Your Spank On, Niche Cliché Pastiche, Success Stories, The Money Shot, The Perils of Meatspace | 4 comments
Je me demande pour quelle raison il paraît que nous sommes nés et élevés avec l’idée qu’il faut être méchant avec les français. Après tout, ils sont, en générale très ingénieux.
Veuillez regarder cet bon exemple pris de pages de Craigslist:
“Are you tired of having plenty of hair in your mouth while you suck a dick? Here is the solution! Look at the photo, all the hair is hidden by my underwear. So you quietly lick my balls and dick with no hair in your mouth! If you’re interesting in taking advantage of this new way of sucking, please contact me with your photo and we’ll get in touch pretty soon!”
Mais, il y a de plus, beaucoup plus…Il y a…le photo. Après le saut! PLUS>>
May 8th, 2008 Posted by Lindsay Lewis | Best of Douchelist | one comment
Twatdawdle
twat·daw·dle
v.
1. to linger; idle; trifle; loiter, at the immediate area of a vagina with sexual intent; in a teasing manner
2. to move slowly; languidly at the immediate area of a vagina with sexual intent; to tease a vagina
3. to waste time in locating a woman’s clitoris by finger or tongue (usually followed by away): He twatdawdled away half the night and still I didn’t come.
—Related forms
>twatdawdling, n. to actively twatdawdle.
twatdawdling, v., p.t. to twatdawdle.
twatdawdler, n. one who twatdawdles.
twatdawdlingly, adv. to perform in a manner that is twatdawdling or twatdawdlish
May 8th, 2008 Posted by The Snarling Misanthrope | The Sexicon | one comment
