Sex, lies, and .jpgs

Personals Sites We’d Like To See: The Whining Angry Man-Child Network

Men-children, do you enjoy the self-inflicted drama of whining about your lack of success at scoring with the internet babes?

Do you click onto Craigslist each day, fantasizing that this is the day that that special lady is going to answer your 2,300-word manifesto about sadness and self-pity (which reads like the liner notes from an unreleased Smashing Pumpkins double-album circa 1996)?

That she’ll ‘get’ you? That she won’t be like all the others – those stuck-up, money-grubbing whores who don’t appreciate a real man when they see one?

Do you spend interminably long hours at the computer, serial-flagging every posting from a female, on the grounds that she must be a hooker?

Do you believe, deep down within the tighty-whiteys of your heart, that your ideal woman is somehow being kept from you by the world?

Do you enjoy the online tantrum-throwing that you are so accustomed to?

Are you too goddamned cheap to buy a Realdoll?

Then we’ve got just the personals site for you!

Welcome, to the Whining Angry Man-Child Network! Where you can mire yourself in your own endless cycle of propped-up self-importance through misery, with other men who think just like you do!

And ladies, don’t think we’re forgetting about you! Especially if you have a patently-obsessive tendency toward mothering emotionally unstable men!

And whiny boys, that’s not all! Have you ever wanted to get paid for your incessant bitchiness? We still need a project manager/developer for this exciting new venture! Please send your resumes to [email protected]

April 29th, 2008 Posted by The Snarling Misanthrope | Personals Sites We'd Like | one comment