About
What is Junkbuzzed? Specifically, a “junkbuzz” is the act of sending someone unsolicited pictures of your penis so being “junkbuzzed” involves being the actual recipient of the unfortunate snaps. Since cock shots are a calling card in the online dating world, this site is named after them. Here we will expose the grime, grit, humiliation, and degradation that goes into trying to find someone to fuck you online. We honestly think that you should save yourself some time and money and just jerk off at home with a cam girl.
Who Are We?
Ellie Lumpesse is a snide, sarcastic bitch that takes great pleasure out of mocking the men that fumble their overtures towards her on adult dating sites. However, if you pay her a few bucks a minute, butter doesn’t melt in her mouth. After a long standing history of being junkbuzzed she decided it was time to take these bastards to task in the form of public humiliation. So, she enlisted another sarcastic asshole to help. . .
The Snarling Misanthrope is equal parts shrieking buzzsaw and caged marmoset who can’t stop flinging his feces at all the pretty tourists. A man of letters (big plastic ones), he enjoys chain-smoking, random punctuation, and women-in-prison movies. He loathes the color orange. He is pretty sure that his own junk has never been photographed. But he believes in keeping his options open.
The Educatrix is a straight-shooting, silver-verbed subversive who spends her free time idly loosening the buckle on the Bible belt. She believes in hardcore hyperbole, soft-boiled noir, and the redemptive power of a steel-toed boot. Her junk comes with a harness and a nun’s habit, but not without consequences.
Need Some Tips?
Have you been Junkbuzzed? Did you get a hilarious email on a dating site? Spot a ridiculous profile? Email your tale of woe to tips (at) junkbuzzed (dot) com.
