The Snarling Misanthrope: so
The Snarling Misanthrope: I just spent the last 30 minutes with the neighbor downstairs
The Snarling Misanthrope: listening to him explain that his fish are too gay
Lindsay Lewis: his fish are too gay?
The Snarling Misanthrope: yes
The Snarling Misanthrope: far too gay
Lindsay Lewis: are they having fish sex?
The Snarling Misanthrope: no
Lindsay Lewis: what then?
The Snarling Misanthrope: they’re purple
The Snarling Misanthrope: and they won’t stop being purple
The Snarling Misanthrope: and purple, as we all know, is the quintessence of gay
MORE>>
May 5th, 2008 Posted by The Snarling Misanthrope | Mid-Day Musings, The Anti-LL | 2 comments
Married? Female? Considering dating on line? If so, congratulations! You are one of the most sought after commodities out there. If you’re a newbie to this fun and absolutely not new national sport, gather round and let’s chat. So you’re bored, (what married people aren’t?) and have thought to yourself, You know what might be fun? Not crawling back into bed with Mr. Tap on the Shoulder, Hurry the Hell Up…instead crawling into bed with someone else’s Mr. Tap on the Shoulder, Hurry the Hell Up. Ladies, I’m going to give it to you straight up.
Obviously being married and dating presents its challenges. While I’m not trying to give you tips and pointers on staying safe and not getting caught, I will toss you this to ponder:
If you are not smart, resourceful, possess a convincing ability to lie and the stealth of a CIA operative, this may not be the game for you.
The game begins - after the jump. MORE>>
April 30th, 2008 Posted by Lindsay Lewis | The Anti-LL | one comment
NOTE FROM THE EDITAXRICES: Today we welcome with open hearts and drop-seat undergarments our newest contributor, our dear three-cocktail philosopher-queen correspondent-cum-intimate, the inimitable Lindsay Lewis (or, the Anti-LL for short), an avowed and renowned hedonist, gourmet, lunatic, smoker, and sex-brained crazy bitch of the first order. So the question then is - do you believe in love? Well, Lindsay’s not sure that she does. But she’s got something to say about it. And it goes something like…this.
October 11th, 1991, pubic hair became part of our national discourse, a la, “who put this pubic hair on my Coke can?” Gee, thanks Anita. I remember a time when dating conversations didn’t begin with, “so, do u shave it? Describe your cut (and that’s cut, not cunt, but really either are apparently de rigeur), landing strip? Brazilian? Carpet matches the drapes? Bare? Star shaped? Initials shaved into it? Dyed? Plucked? Burned off in your last CL encounter…?”
Jesus, boys. CTFD, (Calm The Fuck Down), a necessary modification of the popular STFU. At least for on line conversations. I’m not sure what cover of anonymity of teh Internets causes AOPI (Absurd Obsessive Pubic Interest) but there it is, just like RLS, one of the bizarre afflictions you never knew you had until someone or big pharma put it in an ad. But unfortunately, there is no pill for it. So just for you, Mr. Do You Shave It Bare, I’m going to try and lay it out for you in simple terms, a Lindsay Pussy Decoder if you will.
The art of Pussy Decoding, after the jump. MORE>>
April 28th, 2008 Posted by Lindsay Lewis | The Anti-LL | no comments
