Cohn’s disease
n.
1. an axiom generally applied to Republicans and other assorted hard-line right-wingers when concerning issues of sexuality, specifically homosexuality: you are that which you profess to hate the most (see Craig, Larry; Haggard, Ted; Crist, Charlie; Foley, Mark; Allen, Bob; Murphy, Glenn Jr.;
2. an autoimmune disease that affects three specific points of the body: the mouth, anus, and Douchebag Gland. This disease renders the afflicted incapable of Not Being a Douchebag when it comes to dealing with homosexuality, instead leaving the sufferer with a form of hate-spewing Tourette’s syndrome while simultaneously engaging clandestinely in those very same behaviors. In short, Cohn’s disease is another term for Republican Douchebag.
etymology: named after renowned fear-monger/lawyer/McCarthy right-hand man Roy Cohn, who dedicated his life to exposing Communists and homosexuals, the latter of which he was. Even as he lay dying of complications from AIDS, he refused to admit that he was gay, or even that he had AIDS, telling people instead that he had a really bad case of pinkeye.
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