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Get Subway Crushed

subway3.jpgUntil last week I thought that a subway crush was a terrible tragedy resulting from a terrorist attack or pop star sighting while on the train. However, SubwayCrush.com has a different idea and hosts a bevy of missed connections style ads from train riders in any of the 5 boroughs (of course if you take the bus, you are outta luck).

The tagline of the site says it all:

Why do they call it a crush?

Because that is how you feel when they get off the train before you can say ‘hi’

Aww, if that doesn’t tug at the iPod strings, I don’t know what does. Just like most missed connections ads, there is a running theme of either creepy, pathetic, or creepy-pathetic. However, since dwellers of New York City are naturally hipper, smarter, and sexier than the rest of us I find myself intrigued. Sure I live 964 miles South of the last stop on the R train (thanks Google Maps!) but I can’t help but marvel at these glamorous people that travel to work in high speed, underground tin cans and amaze each other with their charm and wit. If they can’t get laid, how can I?

For instance, nothing woos the ladies, like telling them you hope they have a wand:

You got on @ 3rd ave. We made some eyes at eachother. You sort of look like a grown up version of the chick from Harry Potter. I’m pretty sure you cast a level 3 charm spell on me. Thanks for that.

How about some poetry in motion?

Are there chapter books under there? Handsome underwear? Will you take me to your lair? Do you have more stares to spare?

And of course, if Casual Encounters is too complicated and you need someone to suggest your mass transit route for you to be ready to hook up (roller-coaster style):

I will be in front of the subway station bathroom at Coney island wearing a Yankees shirt and shorts at exactly 4:30pm today. Any ladies that want a ride on my cyclone can get a free ride. Just say hi and lets slip into a stall and get roller coasting! (link dead but the funny lives for ever)

Remember kids, if you make it clever and leave your trench coat at home, you aren’t a creep at all!

April 28th, 2008 Posted by Ellie | One-Line Wonders, Subway Crush | no comments