sex, lies, and .jpgs


Currently browsing posts found in July2008

The Blog-Snog: Required Reading for Everyone Over the Age of Consent

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 3:02 pm » Comments (0)

Following up on Girls=Boys @ Math (The Eclectic Hedonist): I am a boy and I suck at math.
The Come Shot (Having My Cake…and eating it too!): Personally, I like the blotchy, howling-like-banshee routine. But I am a very goal-oriented boy.
Musing on Masculinity Part 1 (Ellie Lumpesse: Pretentious Pervert): Boys talk about being […]

Is Kink the New Gay, Or Is Gay Just another Old Kink?

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 1:12 pm » Comments (1)

You’ve spent the entirety of your adult life engaging in all sorts of delicious (and consensual, thanks for playing!) sadomasochistic activities. And when you’re not, you’re fantasizing about it. And when you’re not fantasizing about it, you’re thinking about fantasizing about it. And when you’re not thinking about thinking about fantasizing about it, you’re reading […]

The Six-Titted Fat Dancer of My Dreams

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 12:07 pm » Comments (1)

I have a confession to make. This isn’t going to be pretty. So please don’t hate on me too much for it. Or do; there are more colorful synonyms for hate than love.

You see, dear reader (citation needed), I used to be part of the shrieking underbelly of the Geek Nation. I was a […]

A Dick in the Hand and a Bush in the Outback

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 11:10 am » Comments (0)

From the land of everybody’s favorite ex-prison colony (not counting New Jersey or South Carolina) of Australia comes this tale of Trainspotting-like debauchery. Brendon Alan Erhardt was pulled over by police while driving at 93mph, while masturbating. While filming himself. With a car full of marijuana. Including two cannabis plants in the backseat. […]

The Pizza Nazi Strikes Back

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 9:53 am » Comments (0)

And this time, it’s - yeah, you know.

Since my original post on the twin-ion engines of pizza and dating, I have been besieged with letters (four, to be precise!) asking me to clarify the dos-and-donts of other toppings and pizza styles. And as I’m always happy to instruct young padawans in the ways of […]

My Morning Junket: Net-Vet Harlots, Boobs on Bikes, Giant Dicks, and pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth Leaves NY

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 31st, 2008 at 9:11 am » Comments (0)

Bring the pets in for a nail-trimming; stay for the trim: proving that they can run neck-and-neck with the NYPD in their continued harassment of prostitutes and minorities, the NJPD finally brought down the raw sewage of justice on what they affectionately dubbed “Operation Net-Vet Harlot”. Because, um, a vet-tech in New Jersey was positing […]

Help Us, Help Yourselves, Help Clean Out the Intertubes

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm » Comments (0)

There’s something to be said for knowing one’s limits. Me, I can field a pretty good shortstop, fuck pretty well (or at least at grade level), cook a mean cassoulet, and snark off with great prodigiousness. But I can’t program worth half an oversharer’s constantly exposed genitalia.

So I need help. I’m looking for a […]

More Sex & Acronyms

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 3:18 pm » Comments (0)

F – fuck
FK – fuck
FCK – fuck
FUCK – fuck
HI – let’s fuck
HELLO – let’s fuck
FO – fuck off (unless you’ve changed your mind and would now like to fuck)
FMP – fuck my pussy
FMA – fuck my ass
FMT – fuck my tits
FMF – fuck my face
FME – fuck my ear
FMS – fuck my stump
FMB […]

Taking the Piss Out of the Internet, One Golden Shower at a Time

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 12:42 pm » Comments (2)

This may be hard to believe, but I was not born a sex god. Most of this was accomplished through a Ganges of experience, facial hair, and of course a potpourri of pharmaceuticals. Pharmaceuticals not only enhance (and exaggerate) all experience, they also soften the white-hot hues of humiliation. Unfortunately, for this particular tale, I […]

Sex & Acronyms

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am » Comments (1)

The internet may not have invented the acronym, but it certainly has raised it to the level of conversational art form. Dating online illustrates this perfectly, as in the course of any IM box – and you are what you IM – you may find yourself inundated with an obstacle course of acronyms, from BDSM […]

OMG (Orchestral Maneuvers in the God) ! FIST EX MACHINA EDITION

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am » Comments (0)

It’s time to get our theological drank on again, as the good lord is read to open up his Really Good Book – the Biblical Kinkipedia. So gather round the Immaculate Meat-Pole – because God wants to spice up your love life!

According to the Ten Commandments, there are ten very bad things that God, […]

My Morning Junket: Guy-Liner, Win a Dream Date With Hillary, Luke Cage Gets His PhD on, Harry and Charles Get Their Dita On, And We Totally Miss Wendy Jo Sperber

» by The Snarling Misanthrope July 30th, 2008 at 9:15 am » Comments (0)

Pardon me; that’s just my eyes throwing up: confused, sad little effete boy-creatures of the world, rejoice – for now you too can highlight your eyes! Yes, ‘guy-liner’ and ‘manscara’ are finally coming to a cosmetics counter near you. And yes, once again we can blame the British for it. And, for the record, I […]