sex, lies, and .jpgs


July 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am

My Morning Junket: Spray-On Condoms, Porn, and Vigilante Bloggers

Government wants no child left behind in regards to porn-viewing: the activist judges are back! And not only do they want gay people to marry and have GAY ANAL SODOMY right in front you and your children – but now they want your children to have to look at internet porn! And Alex Kozinsky wasn’t even one of the judges!

Porn industry feels brunt of recession; fluffers’ union suffers most: And speaking of porn…the porn industry, once considered recession-proof, is no longer riding high on the hog (or other suitable pinkish thing). DVD sales and rentals are down from a year ago, thanks to a perfect storm of economic downturn, the rising costs of oil, a glut of product, and a preponderance of free porn readily available on the internet. It is expected that out-of-work fluffers will soon be working at all the So-Cal Wal-Marts.

Cops v. Internet: Cops, it seems, are threatened by bloggers with big dicks. Whoda thunk? Memphis director of police Larry Godwin, as well as the city of Memphis, have filed suit against AOL to force them to reveal the identity of a blogger who routinely criticizes and airs the dirty laundry of the MPD. The blogger in question goes by the nom de dot-com Dirk Diggler.

Spray-on condoms are wave of future; women inventors begin working on anti-erection spray: You know it’s a good day for men when another of life’s necessities is presented us in a spray-can. We’ve already got spray-on pantyhose, spray-on hair, spray-on hair-thickener, spray-on tans, spray-on hair-remover, spray-on bandages, spray-on skin, and spray-on nails – and now, thanks to a clever German inventor, spray-on condoms! Well, it’s supposed to be a condom, but there’s no evidence of a reservoir tip, which sorta makes the whole thing moot, like most things of German origin. Though it can still be a hot seller – what guy wouldn’t want to laminate his dick? Package it with a helmet and a 4-CD set of Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen, and you’ve got…well…something.

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  1. Word of the Week: Sex-Positivity
  2. I Got Shit


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