sex, lies, and .jpgs


July 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 am

My Morning Junket: Gastrosexuals, Anarchists, Golf-Rage, and the Children of Sappho

Gastrosexuals stake claim to legitimacy and hair-gel, cook some beans; WAM fetishists complain a bit, then go play in a tub full of baked beans: do not adjust your screen; it does indeed say gastrosexuals. Gastrosexual is the new sexo-culinary buzz-word being bandied about for men with highlighted hair who learn how too cook because the womenfolk are too busy working and whoring it up and blogging about it to bother. Also because chicks dig dudes who can feed them. As opposed to taking them to McDonald’s (see list, Craig’s). And in the time it took to type this, Gordon Ramsay said ’shit’ 29 times, ‘fuck 37′ times, and called a chicken cutlet a ‘cunt’ 16 times.

Best headline EVAR this week: Anarchists’ gathering surprisingly organized. And today in irony…anarchists organize! Unite! Attend a seminar. Fail. Rock on, Erica Perez!

Golf rage in Seattle; ghosts of Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield look on approvingly: okay, this one’s pretty cut and dried. Because, as you know, all golfers are elitist douchebags. So one golf-douche beat up another golf-douche with a 6-iron. To the head. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that none of them were gastrosexuals.

They’re all Lesbians, but not necessarily dykes: a Greek court has denied a request to bar gay women from the island of Lesbos from calling themselves lesbians. And somewhere, Jess Franco is probably plotting a sequel to Vampyros Lesbos. In the meantime, enjoy some Sappho, and fire up the Vampyros Lesbos Sexadelic Dance Party.

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